I received a thank-you note earlier week. The cover of the note was inscribed with the following quote: "A thoughtful act or a kind word may pass in a moment, but the warmth and care behind it stay in the heart forever."

Surely there is not a person reading this article who hasn't been the beneficiary of such a thoughtful act or kind word, done or spoken by another. And just as surely, every one of you has performed such an act or spoken such a word. And In both cases, the act and word really have stayed in the heart forever. That act or word may have been in a time of joy when the smile on one face widens the smile on another. Or it may have been at a time when a word of comfort lessens the sadness inside another.

Regrettably, though, we are often quicker to perform the act for or speak the word to everyone else than we are to our own family. We take for granted that our parents or children know we care. More to the point, we know how strong they are and fail to realize that beneath their strength lies a person who needs the same kind acts and words that we so willingly give to others. As generous as we are with friends, we are often stingy with those closest to us, our family.

Too frequently congregants come to my office to talk about circumstances such as this. They are there seeking solace from their - pain; they feel ignored by the very people who should care the most and be first to offer those acts and words. And the pain is exacerbated by the awareness that those same family members are quick to be there for others.

It's amazing how far a little understanding can go. The smallest of thoughtful acts, the fewest of kind words, are often the most important. And how often we fail to speak them to the most important people in our lives.

Try not to be stingy with both, try to be generous with both - especially with those who love you most.