At a recent meeting of the Houston Rabbinic Association, we rabbis had the opportunity to hear Rabbi Mark Dratch, founder of an organization called JSafe. Its purpose is to raise awareness about domestic violence in the Jewish community.

To be frank, the statistics are appalling. It is a myth to believe that domestic violence barely exists in the Jewish community. The atrocious fact is that it exists to the same degree among Jews as it does the rest of America.

Abusive behavior of this nature exists on many planes. Both spouse and child abuse occur at alarming levels. Its nature is physical, sexual and psychological. It can be as subtle as dirty looks every time the other person says or does something or as obvious as speaking down or abusively to the other person or striking the other person. Even threatening to do those kinds of things is domestic violence.

One of the things about domestic violence that is apparent is that it's really about power. While a small portion of spouse abuse is female to male, the overwhelming majority, of course, is male to female.

Financially, it can be as demeaning as his controlling the finances by making her account for literally every penny she spends, or as degrading as taking the money from her paycheck and not allowing her to have any access to their money
Verbally, it can be belittling the other person at home in private, or embarrassing the other person in public.

There is a centerfold in this bulletin provided by the Texas Council on Family Violence. On one side is a description of a relationship based on power and control that results in violence, and on the other side a description of a relationship based on equality that results in non-violence.

It is my sincere hope that it is the latter that describes the tenor of your household. But if you are in a relationship described more accurately by the former, I urge you to seek help.

And, of course, if I or anyone at the Temple can help you, we are here. Please call us.